Like many people, I’d like to understand why. The massacre is perplexing. It’s a week later and still no motive. He was the son of an FBI-Most Wanted bank robber; that couldn’t have been good. I’m not against guns per se, but I don’t think there’s a single reason any person needs an assault rifle. This is so much more than another political gun debate. I think the discussion has to be about boys and men – why they are so angry and unable to manage it in a more mature way.
Every single one of the mass shootings was committed by a man. What the heck is going on and how do we reverse this? How do we fix men? Check out this article: Thoughts on Vegas, and Why Men Keep Doing This. The author articulated something I have believed for a while – about men being emotionally stunted – unable to form good friendships, and share deep feelings – and about the role of society in shaping them. And how this creates mass murderers. It is provocative. If you read the article, go out and watch his TED talk too.
He ultimately identifies three things about mass shooters that are often true:
- They are deeply lonely. They have no significant friendships to rely on, and few quality people to confide in.
- They experienced ongoing play deprivation. Their innate ability was crippled, and they struggle to maintain a healthy emotional connection with themselves and others.
- They are deeply ashamed. They experienced extreme ridicule, rejection, or humiliation.
How do we fix this?